A few things that have amused me over the past week, even as they have annoyed me:

** I received a letter on Thursday from the government. The envelope was stamped with giant red letters saying “ECONOMIC STIMULUS CHECK.” Eagerly opening it up, I discovered…a letter telling me that my economic stimulus check should arrive any day now. I’m really glad that our government is so fiscally responsible – I mean, printing and postage for 300 million or so letters, plus another set of 300 million or so checks, probably didn’t cost much, right? And I was so comforted to know that my check would arrive between 2 days and 6 weeks following that letter.

** At Bally’s over the weekend, I was fully immersed in my workout, doing sit-ups between sets and alternating with a medicine ball (the really heavy basketball thingy) and a stability ball (the great big bouncy thingy). This woman walked over to my corner of the mat, and without looking at me, took both balls. I stopped what I was doing, a little perplexed by her obvious ignorance of gym etiquette, and caught her eye as she walked away. She snarled, “You got something to say to me?”

Annoyed but trying to be polite, I responded with, “Most people ask before taking equipment away from someone at the gym.” I expected her to do one of 2 things: a) apologize and ask if I was still using the balls; or b) roll her eyes and walk away with one or the other. What I did not expect was c) a slit-eyed scan up and down my sweaty body, followed by, “I’m pregnant, what’s your excuse?”

For the record, I’m in pretty good shape. I rather like my body. So this stranger with whom I had no previous interaction, good or bad, calling me fat right there in the gym was just incomprehensible to me. Thinking it would be a bad idea to get into a fist fight with a pregnant lady, I tuned her out and went back to my sit-ups, though I caught something about how disgusting it for a woman to be as fat as me and the shame of being a size 8 (I’m actually a 6, but I don’t see anything wrong with being an 8, or a 10, or a 24 – if you’re happy with your body and you’re healthy, who the hell else should care?). Next time I see her, though, I may suggest she put the baby up for adoption. With a mom like that, the poor kid’s going to have self-esteem issues straight out of the womb…

** And one thing that isn’t stupid but is really kinda cute – I was at Barnes & Noble today, reading through a few potential purchases in one of the big comfy chairs, when an announcement came over the intercom. But it wasn’t an employee, exactly; it was a robot. Or, at least, an employee pretending to be a robot. And the robot was telling us all about the “Buy 2, get the third free!” DVD sale going on today.

I don’t normally pay attention to those announcements, but this one was just so random that the two guys sitting across the table from me both looked up, bewildered, and we all kind of looked at each other and giggled. Robots are amusing.

I cannot wait for Wall-E.